Can someone smart and successful tell me how to change once and for all?

You sound a lot like me, except I'm a lot older. All through school, I had terrible study habits, and I constantly berated myself for not doing better at homework and test preparation. Dropped out of school at 17, and never went back. When I'd try to study, about 5 minutes in, I felt like I was trying to hold my breath underwater -- if I didn't stop and come up for air, I'd explode. So I quit for a while, went back half an hour later, and same thing. Many, many years later, I learned that I have ADD, and so now I take a 150mg wellbutrin every day, and I'm much happier, much more serene, much more successful at everything, and a much better planner. Still haven't gone back to school, but now I have a homebuilding company that does several million dollars of business every year. Don't kick yourself, get to a doctor. You can research ADD and the various meds used to treat it on the net. Trust me, friend, this is real, and it's not your fault, and it's not something you can change by sheer force of will. I beat my head against that wall for decades, with no success. P.S. Don't confuse ADD with dumb -- I'm not stupid, been a member of MENSA for several years.